After a one week hiatus, Shawn Kemp is back with everybody's favorite feature Would You Prefer...?


1)   Would You Prefer...being in a car with a pissed off Chris Brown coming home from a pre-Grammy party or having San Diego Padres outfielder Brian Giles as a boyfriend?






2)  Would You Prefer...having a mug like a 48-year old man when you're really only a 21-year old kid or living the rest of your life with orange skin like Alex Rodriguez?    






3)  Would You Prefer...having intimate relations with Roberto Alomar or living in a three bedroom house with Nadya Suleman and all of her kids for a week? 






Here are the answers according to Shawn:

1)  Neither.  That's some fucked up shit.  A guy should never lay a hand on a woman.  The only exception is if you're Chuck Finley and Tawny Kitaen is attacking you.  Then it's OK to give her a little shove. 

2)  Man, I didn't even care what A-Roid was saying during that interview.  I couldn't stop staring at his bright orange face.  Since I already look a little like Oden, I'll take the orange skin.   What the hell.   

3)  I was watching "Dateline" last night and heard Suleman say that she "is done having babies."  Me?  I'm only half way to the grave and probably could have another half dozen or so.   I'll go with the kids in the three bedroom house.






This story seems too good to be true but I'm posting it anyway.   You gotta love a granny who tells it like it is...  







I've really never liked Colin Farrell that much, but he deserved an Oscar nomination for his work in the movie "In Bruges".   Yes, I'm sure a lot of people have never even heard of it, but do yourself a favor and rent the DVD.  Farrell is hilarious and the movie is also very poignant at times.  On a scale of 1-5, I'm giving it a solid four Kemp's Kids t-shirts...







Ripped from today's headlines..."Be Happy" takes place amidst the backdrop of a dying newspaper industry and financial crisis.  The crux of the story centers on a bet between a domineering mother and her sports fanatic son.  The wager:  $2.5 million that the protagonist, Tommy Dexter, can give up sports cold turkey for 100 days.  The antagonist, Celeste Dexter, targets her son's 40th birthday inheritance as a way to keep her foundering company afloat.   Unsatisfied with his life, Tommy stubbornly accepts the bet and ends up falling in love along the way. 

Now tell me that isn't a movie you would plunk down $11 to see...








Another "Be Happy" co-star, Natalie Portman, is busy shooting faux perfume commercials with director/fugitive from justice Roman Polanski.   I guess she has a lot of time on her hands before filming begins later this year...