Five Sure Things You Can Take To The Bank: Tyreke, Elin, Colin & More




When I was younger I wanted to be a professional gambler.  Part of me still thinks I can make a very good living betting on sports.  Who knows, maybe I could do it.  Then again, maybe I'd just be one of countless thousands of degenerate gamblers roaming the mean streets of Las Vegas.

All I know is that I wish I could have bet on Brett Favre coming back to play with the Vikings this season and Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie struggling mightily to name all of his kids when put to the test.  Those were two absolute sure things and I'd be set for life if I could have bet on them earlier this summer. 

Here are five other sure things I wish I could bet on right now:

1.  Tyreke Evans will not be a professional golfer after he finishes his NBA career - Even Charles Barkley thinks Reke's swing is horrific. 

2.  Despite the best efforts of Hanes and Michael Jordan, the toothbrush Hitler mustache will not be making a triumphant return -  While Jordan is without a doubt the best basketball player ever, his facial hair in the last two Hanes commercials has been horrendous.

3.  San Francisco 49ers running back Brian Westbrook will not play more than 12 games this season - In fact, I'd be shocked if he even plays ten games before breaking down. 

4.  Elin Nordegren will "find a way to heal" with a nine figure divorce settlement tucked away in her bank account - Call me crazy, but $100,000,000 (or more) seems to be a pretty decent payday for a little humiliation and betrayal. 

5.  Colin Cowherd will be diagnosed with diarrhea of the mouth and will not be able to work on the radio or "Sports Nation" for a few weeks -  Cowherd is Skip Bayless on steroids.  Same hyperbolic and outlandish opinions only with more words.  Admittedly, Colin the Contrarian occasionally comes up with unique angles on issues.  However, invariably his viewpoints are lost in an endless abyss of contradictions, repetition and doublespeak.         









Posted by San Diego Sports Guy at 8/25/2010 12:55 PM
Categories: Lists
Tags: Tyreke Evans Elin Colin Cowherd Tiger Woods
 
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